This just in, President Barack Obama has resigned from the Presidency effective at noon today. According to sources close to the President, this historical precedent was the direct result of a spiritual visitation from none other than the nations very 1st Commander in Chief, George Washington…and others.
Apparently the President had been preparing for such a visit, and had actually been going to sleep at night with a note pad, pencil and flash light on the advice of his spiritual advisor, Nutheena Likaproon Tomakame Regula…known to those in the President’s inner circle as Smiley.
It appears that Smiley had been working very closely with the President over the course of the past several months to prepare Obama for just such a visit. But imagine the sleeping President’s surprise and disappointment when after all this time eagerly anticipating a visit from the twelfth Imam…it is none other than the Father of our Country, George Washington himself who appears to the 44th President in a vision so real, he actually wet the bed! Smiley hadn’t prepared him for this! But no stranger to crisis, and cool under pressure…Obama instantly fingered a fall guy, er…dog in his mind. Bo would have to lay one down for the Gipper!…as Washington sat quietly shaking his head in astonished disbelief.
“What are you doing in my dream?” Obama cried. “Besides being the Father of the country you seem intent on destroying,” Washington responded “I am also the ghost of the Tea Party past.” With that, they were instantly transported to a snowy frozen field on a moon-lit wintry night where dozens of men, most of whom were barefoot and half-naked, huddled next to fires to keep warm. “These men d-d-on’t have to s-s-it out here and freeze their asses off! Obama exclaimed…shivering. “I can p-p-put some clothes on ‘em, feed ‘em, give ‘em some s-s-s-igns and have my man T-t-t-rumka put ‘em on a b-b-bus to Madison, or Albany to p-p-protest…can they y-y-yell good?” Shaking his head…again, Washington replied “Mr. President…its 1776! This is Valley Forge, and these men have all left their warm houses and loving families to be here…voluntarily.” “W-W-WHY?” Obama exclaimed. “Why for Freedom of course, Mr. President.” Washington replied.
All of a sudden, Obama was aware of the sensation of wet and realized he was back in his bed in the White House…drifting in the limbo between asleep and awake. He was conscious of his sigh of relief. “Why any bare ass fools would sit out in the cold like that?” he thought to himself as he drifted off again…only to awaken in yet another dream, to a big black man in uniform standing at the foot of his bed. “Who are you?” Obama demanded. “I am Lt. Col & now Congressman Allan West, Mr. President.” He responded with authority. “And I am the ghost of Tea Party present.” And with that, they were instantly transported to a combat zone in a remote area of Afghanistan where a small unit of men clearly outnumbered, were taking heavy rounds of enemy fire. A few of them already hit and seriously wounded. When they saw Col. West, each of them stood and saluted. “Why aren’t these men firing back?” Obama shouted. “Because they have orders not to return fire Mr. President…there may be civilians.” And with that, one of the troops ran out to rescue a little Afghan boy who had chased his puppy out into the line of fire…and was instantly shot and killed. The President cried.
Again, the wet sensation brought Obama back to the comfort of his White House bed… the horrific combat zone a flicker in his subconscious. And though he was asleep for a good hour or so, it seemed like seconds when yet again…a tall beautiful black woman appeared to him. “Hi daddy!” she whispered softly. “Sasha?” the President gasped! “What are you doing here…you are all grown up!” “I am your daughter…and I am the ghost of the Tea Party future.” she proudly responded. “WHAT?” the President angrily shouted. Sasha calmly put her finger to her lips…shhhh. And with that they were instantly transported to a beautiful city on a beautiful bright sun-shiny day…in the center of Camden, NJ. “Sasha, why did you bring me here?” Obama asked. “Camden is a very dangerous place!” “Not any more daddy.” she said happily. “It is 2026 and Camden has become one of the best places in the country to live, work and raise a family.” What you say?” Obama asked, totally dumbstruck. “Yes daddy…after you resigned from office, Vice-President Biden ran away with his secretary and the country actually elected Congressman West as President and Congresswoman Bachmann as Vice-President, threw the career politicians out, imposed term limits and restored our country to its original Constitutional form of government!” she added, barely able to contain her glee. “Everyone has jobs, their kids are happy and LEARNING because WE got rid of the NEA!” she continued. “Well almost everyone is happy…your poor old friends Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and Louis Farrakhan lost their ability to make a living because thanks to the Tea Party, people eventually woke up to their God-given ability to make their own living…and love and respect each other, instead of resent and blame each other.” Obama cried…again.
With that the President woke up…along with the rest of us on April 1st 2011 and HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!
Aint it the truth!!!